¿Hola?
¿Hay alguien ahí afuera?
Asiente si puedes oírme
¿Hay alguien en casa?
Venga, vamos
He oído que estas mal
Bueno, yo puedo aliviar tu dolor
Y hacer que te levantes de nuevo
Hay miércoles que me hago esa misma pregunta, ¿hola, hay alguien ahí?. ¿Acaso creías que tus pensamientos iban a importar a alguien? La gente está demasiado ocupada parcheando su propia vida como para estar prestando atención a un tarado fanático de la música. ¿Quién te has creído?
Al instante, el sonido del whatsapp y su correspondiente vibración responden a mi pregunta. Antes de mirar ya sé de quién es, solo puede ser ella.
Querido Marcos, me emocionan tus palabras escritas desde lo más hondo del corazón. Solo decir que todos esos sentimientos y vivencias han vuelto a tus padres multiplicados por cada uno de vosotros, hijos, nueras, yernos, nietos, en fin, nuestra gran familia. Esa es nuestra riqueza. Aunque no todo ha sido tan perfecto, en la vida también se cometen errores, pero que bueno es asumirlos porque ayudan a seguir en la lucha diaria. Me faltan palabras o me sobran todas para decir simplemente TE QUIERO
Más de un año y medio después de recibir ese mensaje de mi madre, me sigo emocionando, las lágrimas se me descontrolan y me tengo que esconder en la pantalla del ordenador para que los niños no me vean llorando. Vaya gilipollez, llora, coño, llora.
Yo escribo para mi madre, para recibir cada miércoles su mensaje de respuesta recordándome que soy una gran persona. Siendo el del medio de unos cuantos hermanos, la mejor opción siempre fue la del camuflaje, pasar desapercibido era vital para conseguir sobrevivir. Ahora, por fin, sé que cada miércoles tengo su completa atención. Lo demás, me da igual.
Aportar mi granito de arena para que cada semana ella pueda sentir una pizca más de felicidad y llevarla de la mano por las hojas en blanco de mi vida para que pueda sentir ese orgullo de ver los frutos de su trabajo y su sacrificio, son las dos únicas cosas que realmente me importan cuando mis dedos empiezan a corretear por el teclado.
Como buen capricornio, varón, autónomo, padre de familia numerosa, corredor, marido, camarero y gusano de escritor (que más quisiera yo ser ya un capullo) mis inseguridades me atacan en cuanto bajo un poco la guardia.
Algunas consigo sacudírmelas mientras desciendo por algún sendero y las dejo olvidadas al borde del camino, otras se difuminan con las rutinas diarias, otras veces es mi mujer la que me las espanta con un beso y otras, como te pasara también a ti, se quedan y además parece que no tienen ninguna intención de irse.
Vámonos Blanca, que esta gente querrá acostarse
Esa era la frase más famosa de mi padre cuando quería deshacerse de alguna visita que se prolongaba demasiado para su gusto. Esa misma frase le digo yo a Paula cada noche (bueno, en realidad cada 7 noches) pero esas malditas inseguridades se han hecho fuertes en el sofá y parece que mañana me las volveré a encontrar en cuanto asome mi nariz por el salón.
A veces me entran ganas de no salir de la habitación en todo el día y quedarme bajo el edredón donde los incómodos habitantes del sofá no tienen acceso. En esos momentos, solamente los gritos de la pequeña de la casa exigiendo su tostada de pan pan (para diferenciarlo del pan bimbo) “pero que la haga papá, que le salen más ricas”, consiguen que me arrastre fuera de la cama y que me olvide de esos indeseables.
Pues básicamente, eso es lo que os quería contar esta semana. Sigo sin tener ni idea de dónde me va a llevar esto si es que me tiene que llevar a algún sitio. A veces me pregunto si no soy más que un mediocre impostor y si tendré que seguir viendo como otros gastan en una tarde más de lo que yo consigo ganar en un mes, pero entonces, llega la brisa sanadora cargada de amor que me ha acompañado durante toda mi vida y me da la única razón que necesito para seguir.
Es momento de proyectos, de intentar, de pelear y seguir peleando, y en eso andamos ahora. Seguimos buscando una idea, una luz, algo que nos permita poder meter los dedos entre la soga y nuestros cuellos para conseguir que entre algo de aire a nuestros pulmones. Las ideas van y vienen y tanto las ganas como la necesidad llenan nuestras cabezas de múltiples ¿Y si?.
Si daremos con ello habrá que esperar para saberlo, lo que seguro sé es que estamos bien equipados con el cazamariposas para pillar todo lo que pase alrededor nuestro.
Como me ha quedado un poco corto, y eso que he metido un buen párrafo que ni siquiera es mío, os contaré algo que quería haberos contado hace tiempo. Un pequeño gusano con forma de idea llegó hace unos meses hasta mi y ahora, después de haberlo cuidado durante este tiempo se ha convertido en una bella mariposa.
Un mundo de ceros y unos, de nomenclaturas y anglicismos que hablan de funnels cuando podrías decir embudos o que utilizan nombres de la Guerra de las Galaxias para hablar sobre negocios con otras empresas o con clientes finales, se ha venido interponiendo en el camino y todo se ha ido retrasando.
Sin embargo, por fin, puedo hablaros sobre ello y enseñaros algo en lo que empecé a trabajar allá por el mes de marzo.
Nunca te he pedido nada.
Entiendo que estás leyendo esto simplemente porque te gusta y jamás me atrevería a pedirte que me ayudaras a llegar a más gente ni nada parecido.
Pero como lo que voy a pedir no es para mí, pues con toda la tranquilidad del mundo te lo pido:
Suscríbete, apúntate, dale a me gusta, compártelo, hazlo llegar, viralízalo, que todo el mundo se entere, que llegue a Ibai, The Gref o el DJ Mario si hace falta (he tenido que preguntar a Unai), que suenen las trompetas de las puertas del paraíso digital y que anuncien nuestra llegada.
Lo malo es que vas a tener que buscarlo, no pensarías que lo íbamos a poner tan fácil. Yo solo te doy la primera pista y a partir de ahí te va a tocar a ti descubrir lo que tengas que descubrir si es que realmente quieres descubrir algo.
Si no nos fallan las cuentas, la semana que viene se pone en marcha su Newsletter con el primer capítulo. Si queréis seguir la historia, ya sabéis lo que hay que hacer.
Y así me despido hoy, de la mano de Paula, con un viejo lienzo de un rojo atardecer aún por pintar que se despliega frente a nuestros ojos mientras sujetamos con fuerza los pinceles que la vida nos ha regalado para pintarlo de los colores que nosotros queramos hasta que acabemos cómodamente entumecidos.
Hello? (Hello? Hello? Hello?)
Is there anybody in there?
Just nod if you can hear me
Is there anyone home?
Come on now
I hear you’re feeling down
Well I can ease your pain
Get you on your feet again
Relax
I’ll need some information first
Just the basic facts
Can you show me where it hurts?
There is no pain you are receding
A distant ship smoke on the horizon
You are only coming through in waves
Your lips move but I can’t hear what you’re saying
When I was a child I had a fever
My hands felt just like two balloons
Now I’ve got that feeling once again
I can’t explain you would not understand
This is not how I am
I have become comfortably numb
I have become comfortably numb
Okay (okay, okay, okay)
Just a little pinprick
There’ll be no more, ah
But you may feel a little sick
Can you stand up?
I do believe it’s working, good
That’ll keep you going through the show
Come on it’s time to go
There is no pain you are receding
A distant ship, smoke on the horizon
You are only coming through in waves
Your lips move but I can’t hear what you’re saying
When I was a child
I caught a fleeting glimpse
Out of the corner of my eye
I turned to look but it was gone
I cannot put my finger on it now
The child is grown
The dream is gone
I have become comfortably numb
¿Hola? (¿Hola? ¿Hola? ¿Hola?)
¿Hay alguien ahí?
Asiente con la cabeza si puedes oírme
¿Hay alguien en casa?
Vamos.
He oído que te sientes mal.
Puedo aliviar tu dolor
Te pondré de pie otra vez
Relájate
Necesitaré algo de información primero.
Sólo los hechos básicos
¿Puedes mostrarme dónde te duele?
No hay dolor, estás retrocediendo.
El humo de un barco lejano en el horizonte.
Sólo llegas en oleadas
Tus labios se mueven pero no puedo oír lo que dices.
Cuando era niño tuve fiebre
Sentía las manos como dos globos
Ahora tengo esa sensación otra vez
No puedo explicarlo no lo entenderías
No soy así
Me he vuelto cómodamente entumecido
Me he vuelto cómodamente entumecido
Vale (vale, vale, vale)
Sólo un pequeño pinchazo
No habrá más, ah
Pero usted puede sentirse un poco enfermo
¿Puedes levantarte?
Creo que está funcionando, bien
Eso te mantendrá durante el espectáculo.
Vamos, es hora de irse.
No hay dolor estás retrocediendo
Un barco distante, humo en el horizonte
Solo vienes en oleadas
Tus labios se mueven, pero no puedo oír lo que dices.
Cuando era niño
Vislumbré fugazmente
Por el rabillo del ojo
Me giré para mirar pero ya no estaba
No puedo poner mi dedo en él ahora
El niño ha crecido
El sueño se ha ido
Me he vuelto cómodamente entumecido

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